For now, our instruments are stacked in a neat 6’ by 8’ square next to the Tequila Rock stage with drum cases and amps stacked on top of each other. We are waiting for the sound crew to finish their stage setup and give us word to take the stage. We are the first band of the night at Tequila Rock so we’ll get a soundcheck (with 5 bands a night, most SXSW venues are only capable of giving a full sound check to the earliest band).

Tequila Rock sounds like it should be a theme park or maybe a bar that looks like a theme park. It might have a desert theme with a stone mountain facade and an occasional fake cactus here and there. Maybe the waitstaff and bartenders would wear outfits mimicking the Crocodile Hunter on cable TV’s Animal Planet channel. Well, in reality, Tequila Rock is a sleek modern dance club done in black and chrome. It has a fancy stage and a couple of winding black & chrome staircases that lead to a grated metal upper balcony. Not what I expected. But that’s probably a good thing!

Neal Pollack for his part is REALLY jacked up for the show. My experience after doing several years worth of SXSW showcases has tempered my expectations, but Pollack apparently has all kinds of visions rolling through his head. This is most aptly represented by his current obsession with climbing the metal rafters on either side of the stage. Neal is bounding around the room saying he wants to climb one of the 25 foot high metal constructions during the showcase and send the crowd into a frenzy. He says he is considering jumping off of it too . . .

Me? I’m hoping that at 8pm we even have a crowd at all (much less one that can be whipped into a frenzy).

We finally get the go-ahead to take the stage and set up our gear. This will be the first full length concert by the Neal Pollack Invasion. It will be a different experience than the studio and way different than the Swollen Circus set (where we pretty much bombed on Tuesday). My guess is anyone who comes to Tequila Rock tonight at 8pm is going to want to see Neal Pollack . . . and his acerbic wit will be welcomed if not honored. At the very least they will have some clue that we are attempting parody.

As showtime approaches it appears the crowd will be somewhere between my expectations of famine and Neal’s hope of a packed club.

The SXSW showcase goes fairly well but with a couple of hitches: Pollack decides to hand out copies of his McSweeney's hardcover "The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature” free to the attendees. Actually what happens is that near the conclusion of the set Neal grabs a copy of his book for himself, then tosses the whole box of books out into the crowd. It is during the song "Wipe My Ass Upon Your Novel” that he begins to tear his own book to shreds and scatters the shredded evidence out into the crowd. He urges members of the audience to do the same. By the end of our set the medium sized crowd is in a frenzy and the floor is covered with paper. Pollack has also been spitting Evian water at the crowd for most of the show so the pages covering the floor are soaking wet as well.

Neal is having fun. The crowd gets it. Bliss . . . right?

The problems begin after the set is completed. While we are tearing down our stage equipment, the 255 pound linebacker-sized dude who is running the sound board tonight is now staring at the XLR microphone patch bay on the stage. He jumps up and practically charges Pollack with a look of barely contained rage. It turns out that Neal Pollack had been spitting A LOT of water onto the exposed mic wires and patch bays on the stage. By the end of the show there was standing water in the unused microphone chord sockets.

Yipes!

All of this hastens our already focused goal of being on the road to Chicago immediately after the show. Jon Williams, Neil Cleary and I give “the look” to my wife Laura and our buddy Chad. Chad and Laura quickly join us in loading out the gear onto the Curb of 6th Street. I grab the van and double park it. We load up.

Neal Pollack and guitarist Dakota Smith each receive hastened hugs from each of our party while we jump into the Van. As we roar into the night I look back and see Pollack entertaining questions from a small throng of lit rock enthusiasts while Dakota Smith lights cigarette alone on the corner.

It is March and we will see them again in October for the Neal Pollack Invasion cross country tour.